Just Because I Live in Belize...

I find myself having these thoughts quite often:

Just because I live in Belize doesn't mean I can't have a swept house.

Just because I live in Belize doesn't mean I can't wear some make-up to feel human (even though I'll sweat it off in 5 minutes)

Just because I live in Belize doesn't mean I have to smell like it (shout out to Kelley and Lana for both giving me more body spray!)

But I've found that one of these realizations has resonated a little deeper than how I smell. And I didn't notice until I was talking to someone back in the States and they were talking about sacrifice and living it out in your daily life and then they said something to the effect of, "But you don't really have to think about it because that's your life!", as if I'm exempt from making sacrifices no matter where I am. And I do appreciate them recognizing the challenge it can be not just living in Belize but much more than that, the challenge of living a missionary life. 

That's not really good enough though. See here's the thing: I'm pretty adaptable. I've gotten used to not having fresh fruit at my disposal, my cherishing of chocolate chips is on a whole new level, cold showers aren't my favorite but not unbearable, etc. And so while there is a constant undercurrent of discomfort that may vary in degree at times, I feel like that's true for anyone anywhere. Nobody has a constantly content life. Does that mean we're all excused from sacrifice? Of course not. If it did, then I wouldn't have to put extra time and effort into my student relationships because I was tired. Parents wouldn't have to sit and help their kids with homework because they had a long exhausting day at work. Friends wouldn't have to listen and console each other because they each have their own problems to deal with. 

It's Lent. To most people, Catholic and non-Catholic, this just means "Oh great, 40 days without fill-in-the-blank." And I wish more people understood the depth and beauty of it all. Lent is a season of giving something up, it's about sacrifice, but there's something underneath it, something driving it. And that's love. It's true for any sacrifice: it's hard to do things that inconvenience us for people we don't really care about, but when it's for someone important to us (children, students, family, Jesus...), it's still hard; that part doesn't change. But it doesn't matter. The pros outweigh the cons. And the more we practice this type of true love, the sacrifice even brings with it...get this..joy! It's 100% nonsensical with a self-centered, personal progress driven mentality. Thank God that's not how we were meant to live, so concerned only about ourselves! That would be gross and in fact I often find that attitude quite sickening. Maybe it's the missionary in me.

Why am I saying all this? Two reasons. The first is for myself because I would love to be excused from any kind of self-inflicted hardship (i.e. sacrificing) just because I chose to live in circumstances that are a different kind of challenging. Frankly though, that's stupid and prideful to think that I have a special exemption just because I'm so different than everyone else in the entire world. Just because I live in Belize doesn't mean I don't need sacrifice. The second is for any and all of you lovely folks who are choosing to read this. Guess what? You're not special. Everyone has their crap and their reasons for why their life or even just their day is "woe is me". It's not just you. Kinda makes you feel better though, doesn't it? And how convenient is this: it's Lent! The time when we strip away something (or somethings) excessive in order to focus on the essentials e.g. prayer life, interpersonal relationships and the like. Even if you're not Catholic or even not religious, this is the time of year that Spring Cleaning craze sweeps through houses everywhere. Why not clean yourself up a bit too?

You know it's not easy. And it doesn't always stick the first time around, but that's ok. It's ok because we keep trying and are constantly learning even (and dare I say especially?) from our failures. So don't be afraid. Be bold. Step out and take risks. Don't be afraid to shake things up within yourself. It's just that time of the year.

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

Totus Tuus, Maria.

The Best/Worst Visit

So just in case you missed last week, Kelley is here visiting! No, I had no idea. Yes, I'm super excited to see her. Ok, now that I've answered those questions 20 billion times, I can actually talk about the week!

It's felt just so right having her here. I mean for 2 months I've still called it "our room" and Joe and I still call her little desk in the library "Kelley's desk". It's just how it should be. And so even though she's the 4th week of visitors (though again, I hardly consider Kelley a visitor. It's like she came back home), it's been one of the most normal weeks in a long time. We haven't done anything super out of the ordinary which is great because it's allowed us to do all of our "normal" things the way they were meant to be done aka with Kelley.

Oh wait, what am I talking about? Ok, these busy weeks are really depleting my memory. Let's start from the end of last week.

Friday was March 14 and if any of you are nerds or had a fun math teacher growing up, you would know that it was Pi Day! And since Mr. Joe is a cool math teacher, he had Pi Day festivities in his classes which of course included pie eating contests in each of his classes. This is what ensued:

The competitors from 3M. I think they were the fastest!

3H

3C

That night was the big conclusion of the Franciscan mission and they had a night of praise and worship, adoration, and prayer teams which was just straight up awesome. We had students from some of the other high schools come and join us. I have no idea how many were there total, but it was a very blessed night and a lot of good things were being stirred in the hearts of my kids. All week while they were here I just kept thanking them for coming because as a constant presence and as a teacher, it's easy for us to be white noise. So it's good for them to have a new face coming in and saying what we've been saying all year! And I told John, one of the leaders that I realize how fortunate I am that I get to be here after they leave and watch it all take root and unfold in each of my kids. And I had a whole week with Lana!!!!

I love her so much! I didn't even realize how much I needed to see her. For those who don't know, Lana was one of my roommates last year, so she's someone I'm pretty close to. And as we were saying that stupid goodbye Friday night, I just realized that I had no idea when I would see her again. It was like a goodbye at graduation! But I'm trying not to dwell on it. And I did have Kelley here to distract me, so that's good.

Saturday was just a normal lazy Saturday filled with taking a walk in the gorgeous weather and watching a movie with Kelley just like the good ol days! But Sunday we went somewhere. And if you've been a faithful blog reader, you can probably guess where we spent our Sunday afternoon.....Melchor! With our wonderful students! But instead of hanging out at the park like usual, we went one block up to the hotel that one of our student's parents' own to swim! We had been there once before so we knew where it was and all that. We had also seen the pool before so were extra excited to go swimming.

Some of the group

And of course, Kender is getting ready to do a back flip into the pool. Again. Despite my strong protests.

It was such a perfect day for swimming too because it was hot but not that unbearable heat that made walking to the border awful. Patricia, our host, even made us a cake! I have to give it to the cultures here, they know how to host people and throw a party!

So now this week has been trucking along. I actually have classes to teach now that we don't have holidays left and right and Franciscans aren't here to take my classes. Oh shucks, I suppose I do have more. So Monday was of course St. Patrick's Day, so all of us girls wore green.

So festive! And that night we went to the ranch where the Robinsons live (Robinson as in Fr. John's family). They live in the wilderness of Succotz, so not very far away. But we all just hung out and celebrated the feast in a perfectly Irish way. And Tuesday, the Brits made us all dinner! They made cottage pie (different from shepherd's pie because it uses beef, not lamb) and apple crumble with custard. And oh my goodness, it was all super delicious! They leave this weekend, so they wanted to give a little bit of a thank you to all of us and you know, we're not people to refuse food. It'll be so weird not having them around!

Well I think that's all I've got so far. Hopefully reading about some of the things I've been doing will make up for my repeated tardiness with getting these dang updates posted. Oh I do have one more picture of just us girls. We took it on Sunday after Mass because sometimes it's hard to look and feel pretty when you live in Belize and that day we all felt pretty and dang did we all look pretty!

Can you believe I get to live with these women?

So that's it! I hope you're having a happy solemnity of St. Joseph! Oh shoot, I forgot to tell you all about what Kelley and I did for Joe today! Oh well, maybe next week. But in any case, go celebrate, say a prayer to St. Joseph, and then pray for the men you know, especially all fathers.

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

Totus Tuus, Maria.

Visitors Galore

Another busy week! So the rest of Kat's visit was quite lovely. Kat, Joe, and I went to dinner at Benny's in Succotz (which has cheap and delicious food!) on her last night and then the rest of the night was spent in a mad rush of preparations for a couple of things. On Friday, Kat returned to the States. Also on Friday, La Ruta Maya began and every single volunteer was gone except for me (and I'll tell you why in just a second). For those of you who are a little too lazy to click on the link, the Ruta Maya is a 4 day canoe trip across Belize and people even fly in from around the world to participate. So we had a boat with Joe, Michael, and Jen, a second with Fr. Scott, Eric, and Jack, and then a third with the Brits and one of our former students. Katie, Elisabeth, Monica, and Jeremy were part of what's called support team so their job every day was to set up and take down camp, drive to the next site, and cook the food for the rowers. It's really crazy and they all came back saying they had a ton of fun which is always good.

 Carrying the canoe down to the river!

 In the water...past the point of no return. Our second canoe is right next to them

Of course my Friday was a little less canoe filled though we did go to the start of the race which was in Cayo. Our day began very early with a Mass at 5 am, boats in the water by 6:30, and the race starting promptly at 7 am. One of the canoes whom I will not identify flipped before they even lined up at the starting line! 

 Poor babies, we felt so bad for them, but it was honestly so hilarious to watch. But then everyone got off to a...well, maybe not a great start, but they started. After they disappeared, Kat and I went to this little diner in Cayo called Pops for some breakfast and because they were so crowded, there was a couple who was probably in their late 50s who invited to share their table with us! They were fascinating too, they were just here in Belize for 3 months to dive. That's it. But it was quite lovely talking with them. And I had pancakes for breakfast which is always good (though I really wanted a ham and cheese omelet, but thank you Lenten Friday). Then Kat needed to do a little souvenir shopping before we hopped on the bus to Belize City. It was a very enjoyable ride with her, just talking and spending the last little bit of time with her. What a blessing that woman is. It was so good to see her.

But then I came home to quiet lonely Benque and for the next 24 hours just had time to myself to watch Harry Potter and get some grading done before my grades were due. I also got to spontaneously FaceTime with Sarah, one the best friends a person could ever hope to have! And even if we just talked about grass the whole time, it would've been completely wonderful. But hearing how she's doing and being able to talk about how I'm doing with someone who knows me even better than I know myself, it was just so comforting and therapeutic. I don't know, it was just nice being like oh ok I'm not the only 22 year old who's having this crisis with her life of doing something in a place you won't be the rest of your life and having no idea what you'll do after. Like I said though, any interaction with Sarah is pure joy. 

Saturday was a wonderful day that I spent by myself in peaceful silence, watching movies and The Office, and eating cheese and crackers from the surplus of cheese I bought at Caye Caulker, getting ready for that night and the week ahead. Why you may ask? Because Saturday night was when the mission team from Franciscan came! It was totally surreal bumping into John (one of the leaders and one of my friends from school) and Lana (one of my roommates last year and a household sister and the other leader) on the street outside of the church. There were many hugs, mostly on my and Lana's part and then the three of us headed up to Chapel Hill where the rest of the team got dropped off. So that night I joined them for dinner, Mass, and some time of praise and worship. And honestly it was so good for me, even though I was there to welcome them to Belize and talk to them about safety and common sense things, it was still a break for me because there were other people taking care of things. And it's just been such a long time since I've been able to just be with a group of people, just do things with them without worrying about how things are going or what's next. Now that's not to say that I didn't worry because the whole weekend I felt like the mom with John and Lana being the oldest siblings taking care of all the other siblings in the most responsible awesome way. But I don't know, being the person who lives here, you kinda feel a certain responsibility for these 20 white people. It was such a good weekend though and the team is awesome and they've been able to spend a lot of time with some of the students. We even had 7 of them come to the ruins and lunch with us on Monday! That was also the day that everyone (including the students!) got sunburned except for me! And it wasn't because I was wearing sunscreen! I guess I have 2 consecutive weekends at Caye Caulker to thank for that.

 Yay back at the ruins!

 This is a great picture of Elvira and Joana! You almost can't tell that Elvira was terrified her daughter would fall off the edge.

 All of us on top of the ruins!

 This is Gabe and I taking our "Gainesville in Belize" picture. (Gabe is obviously missing...he wasn't feeling well that day..)

The whole Monday group!

So here we are at the end of the week, the team is in 4 schools in the area with a successful mission (almost) under their belts and a lot of us volunteers have our classes taken off our hands to let the Franciscans go in and do their mission thing in the classes. I don't know what we're gonna do next week when we have a real and regular week of classes. It'll be totally bizarre. But until then, we'll enjoy the break and the last week of 3 crazy lovely weeks.

And when I say next week is normal, I mean it totally won't be because...

KELLEY IS VISITING!!!!!

 That little stinker, she surprised all of us by just showing up yesterday afternoon at my desk in the staff room! I didn't even say anything to her, I just started crying! I'm sure there will be much more to come about her visit next week, so I won't dwell on it too much right now. But it just feels so right having her here! Praise God.

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

Totus Tuus, Maria.

Caye Caulker Part 2.5

I'm technically getting a little ahead of myself with that title. Last time I left you was with parents and futbolito. So Thursday I did in fact take them to Xunantunich which kinda worked out perfectly because they had gotten all the Mayan history the previous day at Tikal so I could just take them around pointing out some of the major things and just being on our own. My mom and I made it all the way to the top and unlike the last time I was up there, it was pretty toasty and there was very good visibility all around. So clear that I could easily see Benque.

There it is, home sweet home. It was pretty dang cool when people asked where I was from I could just turn and point and say, "There."

We also saw this large iguana on the way down.

So then we did go to Cayo for some lunch and ice cream. And when I say lunch I mean I took my parents to Greedy's where we could get pizza because, well, I wanted pizza. And it was so good to eat it! Then what kind of hostess would I be if I let them leave Cayo without going to Western Dairies for ice cream? So we each got our soft serve which went perfectly with the hot day. After that it was back to Benque to meet up with Deacon Cal for a tour at BRC which is the printing company he started from scratch. It's a really incredible story and I wish I knew the details well enough to do it justice, but basically when they came down almost 40 years ago, they saw that the children weren't learning because they didn't have books. They didn't have books because they couldn't afford them. Without having any clue about business or printing, Deacon decided to start a printing business and through many blessings it has flourished into a very successful company that not only provides the school books for primary schools, but also now does commercial printing. All this of course is giving jobs to people here in Benque, so it's really good work that BRC is doing.

On Friday we had no classes which was awesome because I had no qualms about taking my parents to Placencia! That name might sound vaguely familiar to you because this is the very same place Kelley and I chaperoned the 2nd Form Boys field trip aka one of the best days I've had here. Anyway, it was such a different trip than last time for many reasons. Obviously, there weren't 50 teenage boys for me to be in charge of, it wasn't the rainy season so the sun was out, and I was there with my parents and Joe. All the other volunteers had left that morning to go to Flores, but Joe and I had other things to do that weekend which I will get to in a second. But I do like the drive to Placencia because it's through a much prettier part of Belize than the bit from Belize City to Benque and you get to this little town at the end of a peninsula and you feel so isolated and you forget that you even have a lot of work to plan for next week or dumb students that ruin your day or any of those pesky things. So we swam and sat on the beach and ate lunch and had a lovely day.

 Oh my goodness, I love the beach.

 This is my cute tiny little shell that I found.

Here is proof that Joe can relax. Though to be fair, he was waiting for us to be ready to go...

Since we had eaten lunch later in the afternoon, we kind of skipped dinner but we were in Cayo at the perfect time to stop by Cayo Twist and get some delicious dairy free ice cream. Then it was back home to shower and get ready for Saturday which is when my parents left and Joe and I were heading back to Caye Caulker because....

KAT IS HERE!!!!!!!!

Some of you don't know Kat, but she is one of Joe's good friends and someone Katie, Elisabeth, and I were friends with from Franciscan and she came down with the mission team last year. Well she teaches in New Orleans and this week is their Mardi Gras break, so she thought why don't I go visit? And we figured why spend the whole week in Benque when a) it's not that exciting and b) she's already been to Benque. So Saturday through Monday we were in Caye Caulker. I know, I know, I'm super spoiled having 2 weekends in a row there, but I probably won't have any kind of break/vacation until Easter plus they were for visiting people, so I honestly don't feel the least bit guilty. 

But without further ado, I give you some pictures from our weekend.

The gorgeous sunset our first night

Kat driving our sailboat as we go out to different spots for snorkeling. Also pictured is our ridiculous captain, Keith, who seemed to be in love with her.

This is usually where people stay out of the water. This is exactly where we got in the water. Yep, sharks and rays.

This picture is hilarious because what Kat said was, "Ok now look like you're dying!" I think I'm doing a good job. Joe stinks and looks happy.

That was on Sunday and the rest of the day was spent getting cleaned up, taking a break from the sun, and just enjoying the warmth and breeze of the island. We left on Monday but not until noon so in the morning we went for a little walk down the island to the more remote undeveloped parts. That's honestly my favorite section of Caye Caulker because all you hear is the water and the breeze and you become enveloped in the peace. But alas, we had to return to the mainland and then Benque eventually so we headed to our water taxi and went into Belize. And it was our lucky Caye Caulker trip because when we arrived at the bus station there was an express bus getting ready to leave for Benque! So it makes fewer stops and cuts out an hour of the travel time and is definitely worth the extra dollar. Plus we arrived with Kat! So it was a pretty good welcome back to Benque.

Yay for having such a great weekend!

Then Tuesday came and it was Mardi Gras! Did I mention Kat is from New Orleans? So what this meant for us is real Mardi Gras beads that my 1st Form girls just loved and we had gumbo for dinner. Yes. Please. After gumbo, festivities for Pancake Day were underway. You see, last week 2 medical students from Wales arrived to work in the clinic in Succotz (the town right next to us) and sometimes they come to Benque to hang out with us because frankly we're awesome. They're also the only non-Belizeans living in Succtoz, but I'm sure that has nothing to do with it. Anyway, they were telling us that in the UK they celebrate Pancake Day before Ash Wednesday which includes eating pancakes but also pancake relays and other such games. Naturally, we were all about it. So last night our house turned into a pancake house and there is photographic as well as video evidence in existence about the pancake relay that happened in front of my house. 

Well that's where we are this week. It's Ash Wednesday which means so many things like having Mass this morning at school, but more importantly it means the beginning of Lent. I was talking to one of the classes in the chapel yesterday about Lent and I told them that Jesus went into the desert for 40 days to pray and to learn to listen to the Holy Spirit. And now Lent is our turn to go in with him. Are you ready for it? Ok. Let's go.

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

Totus Tuus, Maria.