Here is a non-exhaustive list
1. I really got to build good relationships with students during and after the 3rd Form Boys retreat last Friday.
2. Saturday was a mental health day which consisted of a movie and self-motivated cleaning and organizing in an empty house. Introvert heaven.
3. Saturday night all of us volunteers went to Cayo to eat pizza and ice cream. Literally the best.
4. Sunday I spent the whole day planning the course outline for the Sacraments classes. I could have kept going, but I had to go dinner at some point.
5. Monday was great because I had 7 kids in the Sacraments class and when I asked whether they were there because they had to be or because they wanted to be, every one of them said they wanted to be there. Please pray for them! If they stick with it, they'll receive their Sacraments at the Easter Vigil Mass. I'm already completely invested in them and I talk about them all the time. They are seriously the best.
6. Tuesday. Tuesday! What a magnificent day it was. The morning started off actually chilly, I got a free piece of chocolate cake and a cupcake later that day, I had to listen to Christmas music as research for my music classes, and it was the feast day of Bl. John Paul II. I also went to a birthday party for one of the teacher's son who turned 4. It was pure joy. There was also great food which of course always makes for a good time!
7. Today, Wednesday is pancake day where we get pancakes made for us for breakfast. And who can have a bad day after that?
These all seem like small, simple things and truly they are. But what makes them different is that as these events were unfolding, I was making the crossover: I really love my job. Now, let's be clear, when I came down, I loved my students but it was in more of a vague "I love my new students and want the best for them" way. That's where the change is taking place. They now have names and personalities and inside jokes with me and now the dynamic of my love for them has shifted to "I know you and am invested in you as an individual." Of course I have many students that I want to smack on the head, but there are also many that I've practically adopted and if anything were to happen to them, the full on protective mama bear would come out. I can totally see how it's tempting to return after your first year. Darn those kids! It's going to be hard to leave them.
See it's things like this that always make me look around and marvel at the human heart's capacity to love. I've had such incredible opportunities to travel and spend substantial amounts of time in many different places. And no matter how hard I try, I always end up leaving a piece of my heart where I go. There are places literally all over the world that I can think about and it makes me feel "homesick" and it breaks my heart that I probably won't return to every single one of them. Or if I could be in those 5 or 10 places simultaneously, that would be ok too. But the funny part is that whenever I do leave, it always feels right. It doesn't always feel good and it's almost never easy. But I always know without a doubt that it's right.
How does that happen? How is it that I can go somewhere, do my best to give myself fully to what I'm doing, leave, and not fall to shambles? Shouldn't I be flooded with feelings of incompleteness or something? I truly don't understand it and I suppose I can only be thankful for that grace. Or who knows, maybe this is a sign of a major dysfunction that my heart can be so scattered! Well either way, as long as I can ask myself, "Am I in God's will?" and can honestly answer yes, then I must be doing something right.
St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.
Totus Tuus, Maria.
Yay Mel! :)
ReplyDeleteKeep doing His will!
Miss ya friend.
-Griff