Dos and Don'ts

Well, that was it.

This time last year, I had a plane ticket booked and could answer that incredibly annoying question of "So what are you going to do now?" I had a school of students waiting for me, a home I had yet to step into, and a group of people who were doomed to become family whether we liked it or not. And now, after one long year, I find myself on the other side and looking at the two way street that is mission work. How much I gave and was given. How much I taught and was taught. How much I loved and was loved. This works with the not so warm and fuzzy things as well for we do in fact reap what we sow. I guess that way there are no surprises. 

I'm not quite sure what I intend to say in this. Maybe it should be some kind of reflection? Some sage words to the world about the fulfillment in expending yourself day after day for the salvation of souls or some other lofty phrase one might find in scripty print on a picture of majestic mountains? No, if I've learned one thing, it's simplicity. There isn't much more to say than what I've already written in these past 10 months though perhaps there is room for explanation, and I'm sure in time it will come. Until it does though, I have to start simply, at the start line. There is no jumping the gun in unpacking everything you've learned serving as a teacher. I'm sure every teacher could agree with me on that as could every missionary. So my starting line is making a list. Now this should be no surprise to anyone reading this because thanks to a strong upbringing of having lists all around the house, the gene started to present itself in college and has run rampant ever since. Just yesterday I went to go make a list to supplement my other list and I almost freaked out because I couldn't find any sticky notes! But I digress.

This is a list of dos and don'ts and I'm sure it is far from complete. But rather than what to do or what not to do, it is what I don't miss and what I do miss about Belize.

Don'ts
1) The nasty dogs that never stop barking
2) The sandflies that seem to bite me because I'm allergic to them
3) Not understanding my students when they talk amongst themselves
4) Cold showers in the rainy season
5) The tarantulas
6) The scarcity of chocolate. And cheese. And wine. Ok seriously, how did I survive?
7) A culture that tells my boys they are only men when they degrade women and themselves for the sake of a selfish and childish pleasure
8) A culture that tells my girls they need to sell themselves in order to be loved
9) Finding rest (both physical and mental) hard to attain because of a constant demand to do something

Dos
1) The volunteers. Even sitting here thinking about only a fraction of the ridiculous things we did and experienced, I'm ready to cry with a joyful pain because I wasn't ready to say goodbye to them. They are my family. But unlike any time we say goodbye to our real (i.e. biological) family, there is an inescapable finality and uncertainty about our goodbyes. The Benque that was home to us will never be just ours again. And as difficult a pill as that is to swallow, I think it's harder accepting that that's how it should be.
2) The students. I've said it once and I'll say it again. Those are my kids. Even some I didn't teach have managed to find their own little spot in my heart. It's probably safe to say that a teacher never forgets their first school/set of students and that's even more true at Mt. Carmel. You invest so much of yourself in them both in school and outside of it. It's why you're there. Anyone can come teach a curriculum (now, before any teachers get up in arms about this, I never said anyone can teach it well), but the job of a missionary, the point of a volunteer is to form relationships, to show them that there is a fullness in life and it can be theirs too even with all the problems they're forced to deal with. It's hard to feel like you've done enough in one year. It doesn't help to have students begging you to stay up until the day you leave. And I know, I know, it's all about trusting and planting seeds and all the rest. I know that. It doesn't make me miss them any less.
3) Living across from the Church. That's convenience you just can't beat.
4) Sitting up on the edge of our balcony. It faces the Church and was one of the few places I was guaranteed to find peace.
5) Spanish songs. Well, some of them. I've had my favorites stuck in my head since Wednesday.
6) Salbutes. Delicious salbutes.
7) Walking everywhere. Even if I do walk absurdly fast most of the time, you still take in a lot more than when driving.
8) Cheese dip.
9) The teachers I became friends with. There are some really great people I worked with this year and it really sucked saying bye to people who just became your friend.

I don't even know what else there is. It's clearly a lie to say I miss everything about Benque and even Belize as a whole. But what I do miss is almost past articulation (ok, maybe my feelings for cheese dip don't run that deep. But salbutes, yes). This has always been the worst part of doing wonderful things with wonderful people: there is a time when we must keep moving forward. However, it's more than just moving forward, it's moving towards. Towards what? I have no idea. But when we remember that, we are able to deal with the missing of people and places and move on to perhaps that most beautiful gift: gratitude.

Please say a prayer for all of my students and for all of us volunteers as we readjust to life in the States and without each other. Also, I will be in Lourdes these next 3 weeks, so please keep me and all the pilgrims and volunteers in your prayers. Thank you so much!

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

Totus Tuus, Maria.

In the Meantime

Hey look I didn't lie to you! This will now be my attempted update. Let' see, what's been going on in these last 3 weeks...

Well on the 17th, Katie, Jen, Joe, Michael, Eric, and Jack ran an unofficial half marathon. The full title I believe is something like The First Annual Jack White Memorial International Official Unoffical Trotting for Turtles Half Marathon. Even if some of the title is made up, the length and ridiculousness is not. But wait, I have a poster to prove the title.

 There it is: First Annual Jack White Memorial Belize International Trotting for Turtles Half Marathon. We even have t shirts! Anyway, they woke up absurdly early to start (Katie and Jen started at 4:30, the boys at 5:15 ish I think?), but Monica, Elisabeth and I also woke up early (5:20) to be support crew. We borrowed one of the parish cars and drove to the half way point armed with water, hard candies, and posters. What's funny is that the 3 of us were actually very awake and super into cheering. When we got back to Benque, we even set up a finish line on the street by the Church. They were all absolutely disgusting when they finished, but super proud of themselves, as were we. Definitely a proud mom moment.

There they are! All sweaty and gross, but all done! After they cleaned up, we had Mass and breakfast as per our usual Saturday morning. 

Other things that have been happening: Yuri, one of our friends and the teacher who sits across from me, has been trying to be better about drinking a lot of water since she was starting to have dehydration problems. Joe came up with the idea of having a friendly water drinking competition between the 3 of us since he's never hydrated either. I just love drinking water. So let's just make sure we're all clear: this was Joe's idea. So we kept a sticky note on our desk that had columns we could add tallies to throughout the week. Let's take a look.

If you look closely, you'll notice that I won every week. I also had the least variance in my numbers. This is due to the fact that I always drink this much water and everyone else was still in the amateurs. I made Joe indicate I was the winner for the first 3 weeks, but he's not very good at losing so he would just glare at me the last two weeks when I asked him to do it. And the best part was that it was all a breeze for me while Joe was struggling every week to keep up. But mission accomplished, we kept Yuri hydrated. And Joe lost.

 Today we had a little party with my homeroom at lunch time which of course included cheese dip, coke, and cake, but the real treat was the pizza. From Pizza Hut. It's times like these where I'm so very grateful for my Guatemalan students. It was loud and chaotic and wonderful. They're all nuts, but I'm going to miss them a lot. 

And now we only have one more day left in the school year, and it's even a cheated day. We only Mass and one more final (mine of course, because who doesn't love to have grading at the very end of the school year?). I imagine as people finish their final, the flood for yearbook signing and picture taking will continue. That's been another funny experience. Yearbook signing. As a teacher! There has only been one person to ask me to sign whose name I didn't know, so my record is pretty good. Then this weekend is all our graduation festivities, just to add to the craziness of this week. See, we have about a million visitors and more are coming tomorrow. It is a bit overwhelming since 1) our group is all introverts and 2) even though it's good to see them again, you can't help but wish it was just your little family from this year. Luckily they all understand that and so I think the last couple nights last week won't have any house guests. Or something like that. We've just had people coming in and out since this weekend, so I can't keep track of who is staying where. But none of us can believe we all leave in less than a week! It's such a mix of emotions. We're all happy to go home, but we don't want to leave each other, but this only means we're guaranteed hang out time! Ok well I'm going to stop thinking about Wednesday, pack up my stuff, and get out of here!

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

Totus Tuus, Maria.

One Week - Reprise

Once again, I'm issuing another apology for being incredibly absent from this thing. Sometimes there are just more important things than writing about my life.

I'm going to save the update that is 3 weeks overdue for another day though, perhaps tomorrow since I don't have to proctor any exams. But I would like to highlight a couple thoughts.

1) In case you haven't heard, I am not returning to Belize next year. I was truly on the fence about it really up until a few weeks ago. I didn't have any big moment of clarity or anything, so it was still a really hard and somewhat scary decision to make. I think I just realized that my reasons for wanting to stay weren't enough to sustain me for another year. All my favorite people could be here next year, I could see all my students again, I would get a pay raise ($60 Belize. Big bucks you know), all these different things. I realized though that any motivation to stay was originating from me. You can't have yourself at the center of mission work because you will burn out. And it didn't make any sense to me to intentionally put myself in a situation where yes, I would grow for sure, but it would also wear me down and that would inhibit my ability to serve. And if I can't serve, then why am I here?

2) No, I haven't figured out what I'm doing next year. 

3) I return to the States exactly one week from today. And I am completely conflicted with how I feel. When I'm killing ants and mosquitoes and sweating to death, I'm really really excited to go back. But when I'm sitting with my students (you know, the ones I like :) ) or hanging out with the volunteers or talking to the teachers I've gotten to know, it's very hard to accept the reality that I'm leaving. This was my home for a year, you know? And the volunteers are my family, the teachers are my friends, and the students, those pesky, wonderful, ridiculous students are my kids. It's going to be rough leaving them, especially since some of them still beg me to change my mind and come back. It's really funny looking back and thinking about how different everything was when it was the perspective of only being here one week. Everything was still so abstract, school hadn't even started, my schedule is nothing like it was, and I very much had the girl-in-the-big-city feeling of "wow this is all so cool!" Which is a hilarious approach since Benque is nothing close to a big city. Now it's just Benque, it's just home. It's not much, but it's mine. But I know that even that isn't true because in week, I'm turning it back over and giving it to an entirely new group of volunteers. And that's how it should be. We give until it's not our turn anymore. And then we go somewhere else to do it all again.

In other news, I'll be in Lourdes in less than 2 weeks! I can't be more pumped! I'm also unbelievably grateful for everyone who has given both financially and spiritually. We have a video meeting tonight to discuss more details of what we'll be doing for the Special Needs Pilgrimage, so I've been way excited all day. Ok well like I said, more of an update to come later. In the meantime, pray for the kids and their remaining finals please.

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

Totus Tuus, Maria.

Antigua, Guatemala!

First a shameless plug for anyone interested in donating to my Lourdes mission if you haven't already. You can donate by mail or online through PayPal. Just send me a little email for more details. Or read this.

Ok next, a typical "I'm sorry I'm so late writing about Easter and Antigua but a lot has been happening and the blog slips down the priority list" statement. Well there it was.

So Easter! This is actually the time when I get "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" stuck in my head because a) it's my favorite Christmas song so it will sometimes sneak into my thoughts and b) I really do feel that way about Easter! Let me tell you how we celebrated.

Easter Sunday morning was when we were supposed to sleep in since we had been up until about 2 celebrating. Well that meant that this girl was up at 7. I told you, my body's idea of sleeping in means something completely different in Belize. It was really nice though because I had at least 45 minutes to myself reminiscing about the glorious events of the night before, getting teary-eyed again thinking of the kids being baptized, and I got to work on what's become the staple of me and Jack: buffalo chicken dip. Why was I starting buffalo chicken dip at 7:00 on Easter Sunday? Well why not, first of all, but there actually was a purpose. At 2, we were having a big food celebration at the Robinson ranch with all the staff of the parish, so all the priests, sisters, cooks, volunteers, people who work in the office, etc. It was a potluck and Jack and I were bringing buffalo chicken dip because we're pros at it and it tastes way stinkin good. So anyway, I knew other people would need our kitchen throughout the morning, so I got a head start with our dish. Though I have to admit that dissecting raw chicken first thing in the morning was not my ideal way of starting off Easter Sunday but alas the end result was well worth it. Then after a bit, everyone woke up and was over and we all had breakfast together which is always my favorite thing. And then it was time for everyone to cook! And pack since we were leaving for Antigua on a night bus at 8:00. Around 1:30, we all got in the trucks and headed to the ranch where we had a lot of delicious food and could enjoy spending time with everyone for a couple hours. But then we had to get back and we left Benque around 6 I think to go over to Melchor to wait at the bus station. Now when we first got on the bus, I somewhat foolishly thought maybe our 12 hour (that's right 12 hours) bus ride won't be so bad; it was a really nice double decker, cushy seated bus. I had my word search book, my other reading book, and my phone to listen to music, so I thought I was all set. Well then they turned the lights off, and our individual seat lights didn't turn on, so there goes any word searching or reading. By 9:30, Joe was trying to sleep, so then I was stuck trying to pass 12 hours by myself or at least until I was so exhausted I fell asleep. Naturally I thought I would listen to music to pass the time..only to find that my headphones were in my backpack which was under the bus. So then I got to sit and shift in my seat for hours freezing with nothing to do until I was so purely exhausted that I just fell asleep. I dozed here and there, but was only encouraged by the prospect of taking a nap in Antigua. Or drinking Guatemalan coffee. Well anyway, enough about the rough bus ride because when we got to Antigua, it was totally worth every minute of those 12 hours. For one thing, the weather was spectacular: sunny, no humidity, no warmer than 75 degrees. Needless to say, the most frequently spoken sentence from all of us that week was, "Why don't we just live in Antigua?" But let me tell you about the week.

So Monday we arrived and checked into our house. Oh! What we did is we rented a house. There was a big..neighborhood type place? It's gated and has guards at the entrance 24/7 and inside there are a lot of different plazas/houses, and so you have a key that opens the door into a shared courtyard between 4 houses. Our courtyard had a pool! And then we had this huge beautiful 2 story stone house, so we put our stuff there and then split off to explore a bit. Joe, Monica, Madeline, Jack, and I all wanted to find coffee and/or food. So that's what we did. We found a little place off the main boulevard and it turns out the downstairs was closed since it was before lunch, so this little lady who I think owned it and cooked ushered us upstairs and we ended up on this covered patio thing all by ourselves! It was so lovely! And our food was very good, I got some breakfast burrito type thing. 

This is technically Monica's perspective, but we ordered the same thing, so it's ok. After lunch, we slowly made our way over to one of the churches that had Mass at noon, kinda looking in different stores along the way. It was a good 25 minute walk or so to the church, but I really didn't even mind walking around Antigua. It looks a lot like your typical European, cobblestoned town. So we made it to San Francisco which is one of the huge old churches in Antigua (again, resembling Europe)

 I love that they have kept the outside non-rebuilt or restored. There are a few beautiful ruins interspersed throughout the city since it's so old.

It even has a lovely arch entrance!

After Mass, we went back to the house to meet Bill who was coming for the week. Bill was one of Joe's good friends from school and also someone we (Joe, Katie, Elisabeth, and I) were in Austria with. So total we had 12 people in Antigua which sounds like a huge crowd, but like I said our house was huge so it never felt overwhelming and during the day we were usually in little groups anyway. The only time we were all guaranteed to be together was dinner time and man, it made my Italian food-centered heart so happy. So each night 3 different people were in charge for cooking dinner and we all ate together! And dang, we had great food each night. For some reason you can get more things in Guatemala and it also helped that there was a HUGE outdoor market with super fresh produce as well as a pretty big supermarket. But just to be eating fresh, healthy food was a wonderful treat.

Tuesday I think I just read most of the day on our balcony that opened from our (me, Monica, and Madeline) room. This was our view:

Yeah that mountain is a volcano. Pretty sick.

So that's where any of us with books spent a lot of time, overlooking the pool/courtyard looking at the volcano reading. Or just soaking up the sun in perfect weather. We probably went out to the market or something, so now I will show you a couple of exploration pictures of Antigua.

Also worth mentioning is the fact that fast food is a thing in Guatemala. Remember when we went to Flores and there was a Burger King? Well our big excitement in Antigua was McDonalds! (They also had Domino's which I wanted so badly but it was ridiculously overpriced). But back to this McDonalds, Monica and I (and Jack too) were ecstatic. For those of you that don't know, I have a huge love for fast food though I don't often indulge in that guilty pleasure. But since I live in a country with 0 fast food, I decided I could indulge for the week. And what an indulgence! It was the fanicest McDonalds I've ever been too, and that's including the one in Vegas!

 So excited for our junk food!

And here is the ridiculous courtyard to enjoy your cheeseburger...

Crazy, right?

Ok what else did we do...Wednesday we actually left Antigua and spent the morning at Lake Atitlan which is a large lake a couple hours away that many people visit because it's stinkin gorgeous and has 2 historic towns on its shores. Oh, it's also got volcanoes. Here are some breathtaking pictures!

 So this is actually the view from a scenic lookout on our way to the town which you can see on the left side of the lake.

Yay look at us! Left to right it's Monica, Emily (Elisabeth's sister), Bill (Joe's friend), me, Elisabeth, Eric, Katie, Jack, Joe, Madeline (Jack's girlfriend), Jeremy (who we named grumpy gills in this picture), and Michael. Don't judge our appearance, we had to leave Antigua at 5:30 and some people were car sick. So we look great!

The rest of the day was actually spent on our own. Monica and I had a nice little date day where we spent some time down by the lake before heading up to town to do some shopping!

 Our favorite earring lady! I bought a pair from her and should've bought 12 more! They were beautiful and cheap!

Modeling my new earrings for Monica. Only 15 quetzales! Which is $2.50 USD

We returned to Antigua around 1 or 2 I think, so we still had the whole afternoon ahead of us which I spent of course eating some lunch at home and reading. Later in the afternoon though some of us went back to the market to get some more goodness and also to complete some of the items on a scavenger hunt list that Katie and Eric made before we went to Mass. Some of the pictures are hilarious because Michael and Monica were taking them, so I have to share some of my favorites.

 This one was with a street vendor.

 This just needed to be with a palm tree. Monica decided to...bond with the tree? Blend with the tree? Either way, it gets me every single time!

 This is another one that makes me laugh!! The item was to be in a fountain.

And I think this is actually a really pretty picture of Monica. Oh, the item was to be with a security guard of some kind.

After Mass, we slowly made our way back to the house stopping for ice cream of course. Or maybe that day we ate McDonalds again? This also could've been frozen yogurt day. As you can see, I'm having a little trouble remembering what exactly we did on which days. I think it's largely attributed to the fact that I really just spent most of the days waking up, showering (because there was hot water!!!!!!!), breakfast and coffee, reading, Mass, lunch, exploring, dinner, and then chilling back at the house. Obviously Wednesday was a little different because we went to the lake. But in any case, I'll post a couple more pictures from around Antigua for your viewing pleasure and my reminiscing purposes.

 Just walking around one of the coolest cities ever.

Another archway for another Church!

This is La Merced and it looks like it's just a plain yellow, but look closer...

It's like a big cake with beautiful piping!

I think that's really it as far as exciting activity things we did. Oh I forgot on Friday morning, Michael, Jack, Monica, and Jeremy hiked up one of the volcanoes The rest of us were either exhausted or having some...health issues that made bathroom access quite necessary. They had a great time though, said it was a little tough since you're hiking in ash. But there was one point where you could toast bread over the ground! Pretty neat! But here is one picture I would like to share from their experience just because it's really funny to me.

Ok well there's this nice one followed immediately by...

This special one. The best part is that neither really remember what they were doing.

Ok, I just have a couple of pictures from the little neighborhood/development our house was in and then I'll be done

 This is our living room complete with a fireplace (which we used one night!) and a happy Jack

 This is as if you looked right from the last picture. Our dining area and kitchen which is where Joe is of course

 So this is one of the streets inside our gated community thing. You see it looks a bit like it's own town

 Here's our street we lived on 

Ok once again I have no idea what is happening but it's so funny and it also shows the door to our main plaza courtyard area that we share with the other 3 houses. Right on the other side of those doors is where our pool is. But right now just enjoy Katie fake-beating up Jack. I sure am.

Alright, that's a snapshot of Antigua! There are tons more pictures and it was an incredibly needed week of getting away and relaxing and learning/using more Spanish in that one week than the entire time in Benque. We all wish we could go back, even now we still say, "Let's just go back to Antigua!" especially in those moments when you just can't stop sweating. I'm sorry, did I say moments? More like days.

Well now I will release you from the captivity of this Antigua post. Send some extra prayers my way. And happy feast day of Our Lady of Fatima!

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

Totus Tuus, Maria.

Belize to France

Ok you faithful readers, I have some big news. As some of you may know, when I studied abroad my sophomore year of college, I spent a week serving on a mission trip in Lourdes, France. I immediately fell in love with everything: the place, the work, the people I was serving, all of it. Long before the week ended, I knew not only that I wanted to go back and serve again, but that I would. 

Well that day has finally come! Or at least it will on June 15 because that's when I fly out to Lourdes where I will spend 3 weeks serving two different pilgrimages with the North American Lourdes Volunteers. This has been a huge desire of mine for 3 years now and in less than a month, this entire plan has come together which is both miraculous and a little overwhelming. It's mostly overwhelming because of the cost: as you know, I'm not exactly making the big bucks right now which means I have to raise $4,000 as soon as possible. The final payment was due April 15...my goal is to raise the money by the end of the month (because the NALV is being incredibly understanding as well as helpful in all of this). So now I'm pulling out all the stops to seek generosity anywhere and everywhere.

This is where I need your help! My cost includes the airfare, all my meals, accommodations, mandatory insurance, and dues owed for serving which is why it is no small number. Fundraising has never been my strong suit because I feel bad asking for the money, but my love for the pilgrims and mission of Lourdes overcomes my pride, and so I am coming to all of you. If you (or anyone you know, family, co-workers, neighbors, etc.) would like to help me out in any way (and I mean any. Even $20 is like BIG BUCKS to me), please let me know! Send me an email or comment on this post or any other creative communicative means with your mailing address, so I can then send you a letter with all the information about the missions I'll be serving as well as about donating. (And hey, it's tax deductible!)

You can write a check or if you're one of those get it done quickly people, you can donate online through PayPal by clicking here. Just make sure to include a message saying your contribution is for my payment on the mission. If you do want to write a check, all you have to include is my name in the memo line.

But after you say a little prayer about it and if you decide you want to help, again, send me your mailing address and I will send you the letter with all the information. 

So let's recap:
1. I have the privilege of going to Lourdes for 3 weeks to serve the sick and underprivileged who seek the comfort and healing of God
2. You have the chance to serve them with me! Firstly through prayers, and then financially
3. You want to send me your mailing address so you can get one of my really cool letters :)
4. Donating will also ensure that I will pray for you every single day for 3 weeks in the Grotto where Mary appeared to St. Bernadette. Hello. That's awesome.
5. Also feel free to spread the word! If you know of someone who is looking for a charity or cause to donate to, this is a beautiful ministry.

In all seriousness though, there is nothing more I want than to serve in Lourdes. So I'm already abundantly thankful in advance for your spiritual and financial support. May God bless you and please pray for me!

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

Totus Tuus, Maria.

The Triduum

For those of you unfamiliar with that name, it refers to the most sacred days out of the entire year: the evening of Holy Thursday through the evening of Easter Sunday. And no wonder! A lot happens in those 3 days (and yes it is 3: Thursday evening to Friday evening, Friday evening to Saturday evening, and Saturday evening to Sunday evening). It is by far my favorite time of the year and it was another beautiful year celebrating it here in Benque.

So on Holy Thursday we had Mass in the evening which I must admit, I was worried would be filled with all kinds of horribly stereotypical Hispanic music (aka cheesy and awful), but it was actually really wonderful. There was of course a marimba because that's the special occasion instrument, but it was just a cultural experience that still felt like sacred Mass music. I should also mention that the music for the Triduum is some of my favorite, so not being in the States for it is hard, but like I said, Benque did a great job of balancing Belize and the sacredness of it all. After Mass on Holy Thursday, the Blessed Sacrament is processed to what's called an altar of repose because all tabernacles are empty on Good Friday. Well it's the same here obviously so we processed around the block with Fr. John carrying Jesus in the front under a canopy and then as is tradition, there was an opportunity for prayer until midnight at the altar of repose. Now having gone to Franciscan University and especially after being on the Liturgy Committee last year, my visual of an altar of repose is very...European? You know what I mean? On the altar with a tasteful arrangement of candles and flowers and it's very solemn and beautiful. So to be honest, I was kinda nervous what I was going to walk into on Thursday. But once again, my little self was blown away by the beauty and fidelity to culture. There was a little tabernacle under a beautiful canopy with candles and plants all around and it was very striking.

This dinky picture doesn't convey the beauty and sacredness that was all around it either. It was just so still and peaceful, all of us praying in Gethsemane with Jesus.

Good Friday, I always feel guilty on Good Friday because even though I'm in the solemnity of it all, it always seems to be a good day. There are always a couple of big things on Good Friday in Benque, the first being a live representations of the Stations of the Cross. It starts in one part of Benque and traces the Way of the Cross ending at the church and all of our boys were in it (except Joe because his sister was visiting), so that was really great to see. Then of course there is the service in the afternoon which again was beautiful. Adding to the beauty was the fact that Fr. Juan was the celebrant and since he was just ordained in January, I was just so moved by him celebrating his first Good Friday as a priest. Then that night they had one final procession. Now we've been processing all week, but they were all the prelims, leading up to this Good Friday. It all started that morning when there were people scattered throughout Benque along the route of the procession. See all along the way there are "rugs" for the people in the procession to walk on and the rugs are colorful and in all kinds of different designs. Us girl volunteers (along with a lot of other people) helped Mary with the one going down the Church steps

Beautiful right? All of the rugs are made out of colored sawdust, so all morning people had their stencils and their hoses getting it just right. Michael took a couple pictures of some others.

This one has uncooked beans and rice for the cross. Of course it would, but it's neat to see how people used different materials.

So for most of the procession route there were these beautiful, colorful decorations on the road, so even though it was supposed to be a solemn procession, it was kinda fun seeing what the next rug looked like. Well that evening we actually had the procession which had 2 andas (the floats that are carried): the smaller one had Our Lady of Sorrows and then there was the huge anda that needed 40 men to carry it which had the body of Jesus on it. The idea is that it was a funeral procession for Christ, so there was incense and torches carried to light the way along with a band playing funeral songs. Everything but the band was nice.

 The front of the huge anda

You can see the statue of Jesus on top

The procession lasted 3 hours and the only reason why it was ok at all was because it was Good Friday and if Jesus died for my sins, then surely I could walk around Benque slowly for love of him. I mean it's not like I had to carry the giant anda.

Then Holy Saturday came and as much as I love Holy Saturday, it's also kind of an awkward place to be in: Jesus is dead and in the tomb, but most of the day is spent getting ready for the Easter Vigil that night and I was especially excited for my kids to receive their Sacraments. A lot of the day was normal though, making breakfast, reading, relaxing, and then when the afternoon came is when things started to get real. There was some grocery shopping to be done and some mental preparation for Easter Sunday when we would be leaving for our vacation (more on that!). But finally night came when we all got spiffed up for the Vigil Mass and some of us headed to the park and the rest went to save seats in the Church. The reason why some of us went to the park is because at the beginning of every Easter Vigil is the lighting of the new Paschal Candle and along with any regular person who wants to be there, all catechumens and godparents are there and 5 of us volunteers were godparents this year. So we started at the park for the candle lighting bonfire.

It's a very beautiful ceremony with a lot of rich symbolism. Oh for those of you that don't know, the Easter Vigil is my favorite Mass ever. I cry every single year and even though this year was in Spanish it didn't matter. I had Joe carry tissues in his pocket for me because it was bound to happen. Luckily, the misty eyes didn't come until we were at least in the Church which was plunged in total darkness (as per tradition) throughout all the readings since there are 7 readings for the Vigil that recount salvation history. It was actually during the readings that I first started to tear up. Then when it comes time to sing the Gloria, all the lights come on and the bells are rung to let everyone know we were moving into celebration mode! It also helps to wake everyone up. I literally had to nudge Joe more than once. But the rest of Mass was beautiful especially when it came time to administer the Sacraments.

Look at them, making their profession of faith! After invoking the prayers of the saints, it was time to baptize these little ones! I was full of nerves and excitement because since we were on the end closest to the font, Jose Miguel (my godson!), Joe and I were first.

AND THEN HE WAS BAPTIZED!!!! No more sin, forever belonging to God as one of His own. Much to my surprise (and relief), I didn't cry! Have no fear though, as soon as we walked away from the font and got back in line, Jose Miguel and I looked at each other and then I was sniffling. And I had 3 more kids to see baptized! Of course none of the others were godchildren of mine, but I still just spent a whole year with them watching their interest and desire for the Sacraments grow. But do you want to know when I really lost it? Communion time. It's tradition that the new Catholics receive communion first since it's their first ever. Before they even stood up to get out of the pew, I was tearing up, and by the time I went to receive (which wasn't long after since all the godparents were sitting in the row behind them), I was straight up crying. I think Fr. John was a little puzzled. But thankfully I have a good Joey who didn't wait for me to ask to give me my stack of tissues. It was so wonderful and I still cried for a few days after just thinking about that moment of each of them receiving Jesus for the first time ever.

And here they all are! The new little Catholic kids and the godparents! I must admit, my favorite part of this picture is Elmer giving a thumbs up.

And Joe and I with our godson! So much goodness. So much joy.

After a few pictures, us volunteers went to the boys' house to celebrate Easter coming and Lent ending! Lots of chips and candy and such things. But eventually we went to bed, or at least I did because it was late seeing as how Mass didn't even start til 9:30. But I like it that way and it was another glorious Easter celebration. I'll write about Easter Sunday/our trip to Anitgua another day (soon I promise!). Meanwhile, thank you so so much for any prayer you offered for those 4 kids. Please keep all of us in your prayers as we only have a few more weeks of school left. Crazy!

Also, a quick weather update: it's miserably hot and humid here with no escape. Any of you that still need sweaters or jackets, 1) where the heck are you?? and 2) you think you'd rather have the heat but I assure you, you would not. So snuggle up in a blanket for those of us who desperately wish we were able to!

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

Totus Tuus, Maria.